The single difference between you and your prospect that keeps you pitching and them from buying…

“No, I’m good.”

“I’ll just learn live with it”

“Well, that’s life!”

Assuredly all of these are examples of rebuttals you may have heard from prospects in your years of peddling your wares to people whose aversion to your pitch puzzle and confuse you.

Listen to the audio version of this article here:

Something struck me about something a colleague said to me over lunch the other day.

She said, “people have JUST no need of change these days” when talking about the “next generation” of people she’s met in public and worked with lately.

It resonated with me instantly but, I didn’t ask myself why because I already knew exactly why this happens. I realized, however, most “sellers” don’t realize this thing I have “always known” and apply in my prospecting and selling. It’s one of those things I knew but sort of “didn’t know I know” it.

That left me no choice but to write this short article about it.

Did you ever try to give someone something they didn’t want, try to tell them something they weren’t willing to hear or make your best effort to get them to make a beneficial change only to be outright refused?

Ever been denied a sale by someone who obviously needs you or what you provide?

Has anyone ever refused you on something you offered to markedly change their situation for the better?

It would almost be fine if it just ended with that and if that’s all we had to overcome.

But what of those denials when you did everything right, when you’ve had a textbook discussion with someone, with them tracking with you the entire time, only to have them turn you down despite it having been “so obvious they were about to close?”

How about those brilliant pitches you’ve done that didn’t miss a beat and even had your prospect intrigued and engrossed in conversational rapport, only to end up with your parting ways?

Those are the real heartbreaks, aren’t they?

What conclusions did you draw from this?

As I mentioned in my prior article “When You Offer Help But People Aren’t Buying” sellers often conclude, “you can’t win with some people” to explain away such types of sales failures.

But please understand that this doesn’t make you a failure. It simply makes you someone who doesn’t know the exact reason why people refuse you when they do.

And it’s not a lack of understanding of technique. It’s a lack of understanding of prospects (i.e. people) and what makes them tick, especially regarding the subject matter of what you do and what help you can offer. As I discussed in that prior article, helping them makes sense to you but isn’t yet in the cards in their estimation for reasons you didn’t find out about.

It’s the difference between how each of you thinks on the subject which blocks results. They don’t think like you do… yet!

But, the good news is that it’s something you can understand and navigate around it if you just learn what I’ve observed to be the true cause of “people saying no” at the close: LIMITS!

When you sell someone, you’re asking them to make a change but, did you ever think that maybe they’re not looking for one?

“You can’t always get what you want. But if you try sometimes, you just might find, you can get what you need…”

Immortal words of Mick Jagger fronting the Rolling Stones. A morsel of “wisdom” many fans have probably taken to heart. But, I can tell you from experience, not to the bank, I’m certain.

“… and, if you can’t be, with the one you love, honey, love the one you’re with” echoes in refrain the voices of David Crosby, Stephen Stills and Graham Nash indelibly in people’s minds which, quite possibly has influenced many to take what they’ve been given and not wish or hope for anything more.

And, when taken in proper context, there’s no argument as to whether it’s good advice when it comes to a long-term mate, the implied simple meaning of the lyrics. In the eyes of the beholder, it could be the best advice ever or a good rule of thumb. But, even then, is it really a good one?

In absence of understanding of the opposite sex, it’s logically become a guiding principle for some.

Similar colloquialisms pepper our culture as “take what you can get” or “don’t be someone you’re not” or even “know your limits” (the worst offender of sales everywhere, incidentally), and these often act as limiters to people getting any farther along toward an ideal situation in any given circumstance of their life.

Then there’s the old “what can you do?” or “play the cards you’ve been dealt” proposition.

From what I’ve noticed in the thousands of interactions with prospects I’ve had, people tend to adopt these “truisms” in a moment of epiphany about some little thing and be affected so profoundly that it becomes their everything.

But, adopting these “life’s little advices” can come with the danger of allowing people to never wish for better than they have in all other areas of life, and block them from receiving help with things that would have elevated them into far better conditions.

And this reveals a leading line of reasoning or justification for limits people set for themselves…

A little thing I call “SETTLING”.

Who wouldn’t want to make a change for the better? Oh, wait… everyone!

Signs of “settling” are everywhere.

Shooting for your “choice college” and settling for “the one you got into”, wanting to pursue an art career but taking a job to “fall back on” and dating or marrying “within your league” to name a few of the most common. Deciding against taking a promotion because of your own doubts and insecurities. I’m sure you can think of countless others.

You’ve likely noticed this before but, have you ever wondered why?

Well, I did. Always have. It’s blocked me from selling one time too many for me not to get intensely curious, and I’d be surprised if it hasn’t done the same for you.

And so I figured it out. “Settling” (when it comes to your prospective buyers) is a manifestation of perceived limits people have set which turn out to be totally penetrable if you know the following…

I keep mentioning my last article because it covers the subject of people perceiving your help to be a swindle. because they have “no place to go” beyond where they are. But, if you examine it closely, their opposition to the idea that you could help them is just a manifestation of these limits they’ve set, based on their basic lack of understanding of the subject you’re discussing.

In other words, you’re pitching when you should be (1) consulting their understanding (or lack of it) and, (2) adjusting and expanding their understanding of the general subject in the direction of getting them to think the way you do.

That lack of understanding has to do with, once again, an optimum state, condition or way of being. Not knowing the true potential of something, and for lack of understanding of basic purpose, structure and function, people are led to draw conclusions that, on that subject, they have already achieved “all there is” to be had. And that means they think “this is the way it is” and that’s all.

And that, in itself, is THE limit.

Understand that if you’re convinced the ceiling is five feet from the floor, you’ll never even try to reach for six or more feet above you. And, you won’t think much of people who talk about eight-foot ceilings and multiple-storied buildings.

That is the anatomy of what I lovingly call “settlers” in my prospecting adventures, escapades and general selling shenanigans.

I don’t care if it’s someone’s state of health, state of mind or state of their roof, car or iPhone.

When you make an offer to improve these in some way for them, in absence of full understanding of purpose, structure, function, mechanics, etc., etc., you are met with a resounding, if sometimes insulting “NO!”

People don’t seem to need, want, desire, clamor for, or, in general, have any interest in changing. They don’t even want to discuss it. But if you can expand their view of the general subject, the good news is, not only is the “sale” easy, it’s unnecessary. This is prospecting at its finest.

So, how do you sell to ‘settlers’ who balk at change?

My friend brought up an interesting point, one which was worth exploring in depth and which I cover in great detail of how to handle in my special audio training hour and transcript, “Stop Pitching and Make Way More Sales.“

Her point being “people just aren’t so in need of change these days” and mine being along the lines of figuring out just why that is so we can DO something about it. By bringing it up this way, she reminded me that people, when confronted with this attitude, tend to back off of or abandon the sale altogether, all for the lack of knowledge of its anatomy.

And, oh, does it have one alright!

What can you do? While it’s not the full rundown of everything to do, which I cover in my more extensive audio training, there is a little advice I can give you here to point you in the right direction…

Realize first, it’s not that they don’t want change or wouldn’t. It’s that they don’t believe in change or that it’s possible from thier limited beliefs on the subject, beliefs which MUST be expanded before change can be discussed.

Their view of the situation MUST be expanded to include a wider spectrum and broader parameters of the mechanics of the general subject.

To a potential Chiropractic patient for instance, they must become aware of the purpose of the human body, its structure, function and, most importantly, its purpose. Once someone understands this, a Chiropractor has someone who thinks like he or she does, and therefore limits fall away and a person practically (and quite usually) asks for a solution.

If you install or replace roofing, do mold remediation, repair automobiles or fix computers, your prospects are no different. It’s a difference of base understanding of the subject matter between you and them that places the barriers to the sale, with their limits set based on their limited knowledge.

Enlightenment of how these things (human bodies, the mind, roofing, mold, car engines and computers) should work, their purpose and optimum structure and function open your prospects up to way more than listening to your sales pitch.

It expands their view of the situation they’re in, showing them there is someplace to go beyond where they are now, and THAT is what sparks the need for change. And your work with what I am suggesting here is what will fuel and drive it forward toward a close you won’t even have to make.

For, if you do it right, there is no pitching necessary, and the person will be asking you for advice and recommendations, closing YOU on helping them.

And who would say “NO!” to that? All you need to do at that point is learn how to say “YES!”

I’m confident you can at least handle that!

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